Terrified of dating anna dating scammer
Being alone used to be such a terrifying thought for me.
When I first moved into my apartment four years ago, I was just five months out of my last long-term relationship and it was a complete shock to my system.
And then when you can admit that you’re afraid, and nudge it around with the toe of your Converse, like you’re doing right now, it simultaneously privileges and diminishes the fear as this distinct, overcome-able thing, “the” thing that’s in the way, if only you could just… Fear, though, might be better considered an atmosphere. But, if I count up the fear I’ve experienced today—the moments that have, by 10 a.m.-ish on a Friday, been so obviously fear-oriented—it would take like three columns worth of words.
Fear is also a good, natural boundary, like eyebrows and barfing, without which we might be doing, I guess, any of the infinity things we have bad instincts toward but don’t do, because sometimes our fear is right, or at least instructive.
“I’m taking a break from dating right now.” “I’m really busy with my career.” “I don’t know too many happily married people.” “I really like my independence.” It’s not that these stories are definitively untrue; it’s that they don’t come close to telling the full story.
Which is that you use all of these examples to justify why you choose not to be vulnerable and partner up with someone – and sure enough, you never partner up with someone. Fact is, if you want to fall in love, it’s there for the taking.
I had only ever lived with a boyfriend, or at the very least, had one when I was living on my own.