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Negative regard does nothing more than communicate negativity, and the Venter likely already feels badly enough about themselves.

Some Venters’ issue IS that they have no faith or positive regard for themselves!

•The Principle of Positive Regard Three words define the great Listener: unconditional positive regard. Though it is true that sometimes people need “tough love” and I have been in the place of giving that tough love, all advice given should always be with unconditional positive regard for the Venter; they are a human being and they can improve themselves if they set themselves to the task, most of them are here because either they do not believe in themselves or because nobody has believed in them.

As Listeners, it is on us to believe in the ability of the Venter to make themselves better, to take them at their word, give them the benefit of the doubt, and to show them that it is entirely possible for someone to believe in them. It is impossible to shame or degrade a person into improving.

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